Christmas at The Burrow
by corikane
Summary: Voldemort has been dead for almost two years now but his shadow lingers and makes for a not too pleasant Christmas at The Burrow. Can Ginny and Hermione find a way out of the grief together?


Disclaimer: The characters of the _Harry Potter_-series belong to J.K. Rowling. I borrowed them (didn't tell her, though, her line is always busy these days ;)) for awhile to play with some protagonists. On writing this first piece of _Potter_-fanfiction, I learned that I have some resentments for parts of the story (especially the epilogue which never really happened in my books). However, for those things that did happen, they belong to Rowling, and for those that didn't I don't get paid, so please don't sue.

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When you exited The Burrow's back door you descended three steps before standing in the Weasley's vast backyard with all its garden gnomes and a couple of sinkholes. Hermione Granger was sitting on the middle step, looking up into the starry sky and ignoring the ruckus she heard from within the house. She was only clad in her ugly Christmas jumper but she didn't seem to feel the cold.

Hermione turned when she heard somebody opening the back door, for a moment fearing it might be her boyfriend, Ron Weasley, but thankfully it wasn't. It was his sister, Ginny, and she held Hermione's jacket out to her. The brunette took it.

"Aren't you cold?" Ginny asked, clad in her own coat, as she sat down on the top step and looked at her friend.

"I've got my anger to keep me warm," Hermione quipped but still slipped into her jacket. When she looked up at the redhead, the younger woman could see the anger flaring in Hermione's hazel eyes.

"My brother's a douchebag," she said.

"Did he send you?" Hermione asked, half annoyed, half hoping it would be so.

"Are you joking? He's in there playing his stupid drinking-game with George. I don't think he even knows you're out here or that you're angry." Ginny's voice was thick with disgust at her brother's behavior. She and Ron had always had their problems but mostly got along, that changed when Ginny broke up with Harry. These days they just annoyed the hell out of each other and Hermione knew that some of the resentment Ginny felt toward Ron was on how he treated his girlfriend.

Hermione put a hand on Ginny's knee, she was thankful for having the passionate redhead as her friend.

"He's such a brat. I'm glad mom and dad are with Bill and Fleur this Christmas, and they don't have to see..." She turned around and pointed at the door to the house. "... that."

What she meant was Ron, George, and Charlie getting drunk, Harry brooding over his life and the two girls trying to keep everyone out of trouble, mainly magical trouble. Sure, The Burrow was out in the sticks but magical fireworks like the ones from last year's New Year's celebration could be seen from as far away as London - and that sure got some people into trouble, though it may not have been the ones who deserved it. But last year had been different. They had just beaten Voldemort, the world had been a better place, even Harry with all his pain and grief had been cheerful in the immediate aftermath. George had said the party was for Fred and he would have wanted a great BANG to celebrate their victory.

Hermione sighed and leaned over Ginny's thigh, her head coming to rest on her own hand on the girl's knee. But she wasn't a girl anymore, they had all successfully graduated from Hogwarts this spring, Ginny's year together with her own - and the girl had turned into a beautiful young woman, stubborn, yes, but also strong and... simply breathtaking. She wasn't aware of this, her brothers still kept her on her toes, teased her about her relationship with Harry who was a hero. That had been before the break-up, and before everyone had learned that Harry couldn't get over some of the things that happened.

"You know..." Ginny started saying but stopped. Hermione remained still, felt Ginny's hand on her back drawing light circles through the thick material of her jacket. "... sometimes I think that... that Voldemort, that he won." Ginny waited a moment for her friend to disagree but Hermione didn't say a word, neither agreeing or disagreeing with Ginny's assessment. "I mean, sure, he's dead and he probably would have considered that a failure. But look at the little things, look at my family. Fred is dead, and...," Ginny took a deep breath fighting tears that were threatening to come. "... mom and George will never get over this. I always wondered which of my brother's was mom's favorite. Now it will always be Fred, Fred will be the perfect boy because he died." This time Hermione looked back at Ginny with sad eyes.

"Oh, I know, my mom loves us all equally and that's why, you see, she lost her favorite because we're all her favorite." Ginny opened her eyes wide, warding off another wave of tears successfully. She looked into the starry night for a moment then back at Hermione. She tried a sad little smile but even that failed to materialize: it morphed into a grimace.

"Harry will never forgive himself," she said with conviction and Hermione leaned back onto Ginny's knee, her face to the yard. She rubbed the other girl's shin through her pants. "He feels responsible for all of the deaths that happened since he started at Hogwarts, most of all Sirius', Fred's, of course, and Remus' and Tonks'. And Snape's, can you believe it?" A bitter laugh escaped Ginny, she shook her head in disbelief. "He will forever be the boy who lived - when others died."

"Is that why you broke up with him?" Hermione asked quietly. She had wondered what had happened between Ginny and Harry. Harry, of course, wasn't talking about it although she could see that it was another thing that tore him apart. But he suffered in silence just like a hero should. In a way, it was ridiculous and another it was completely understandable.

"I would have stayed with him if he would just be sad but healing, you know. If he would talk about it, not necessarily to me... I hoped that he would see a professional when we moved to London but he refused. But it's not just that." She made a pause and Hermione steeled herself for some big secret, one she had feared to hear of ever since they had left Hogwarts. But what Ginny said wasn't that horrifying, nor that surprising either. "He DETESTS magic now. He doesn't use it anymore unless it's flying, he loves to get away on his broom."

Hermione kept her silence. For so many years when she was at Hogwarts, magic was all she could think of. She had wanted to go on to Cambridge to get a degree in Witchcraft but with the things that happened in their seventh year she had lost the taste for magic, too. She used it - who wanted to peel potatoes by hand when there was a much quicker way? - but she didn't study anymore. Ron used it all around their little apartment, for everything, especially getting himself another beer from the fridge. It was disgusting and one of the main reasons they would get into fights. But there weren't many things they didn't fight over these days.

"I can't live like that, Hermione. I was brought up as a witch, I was always surrounded by it. And whenever I did it lately, just little chores around our house, he would look at me like I was breaking a sacred vow or something. That's why I broke up with Harry. I cannot not be a witch, he cannot make me not be a witch. It's a part of me."

"Well, I find that you can overdo that part of your personality," Hermione said, and it sounded more than a little bitter.

"Oh, you mean, the way Ronald does it. Man, he's such an irresponsible twit." They both sniggered at the insult but sobered quickly. "He's drinking a lot, isn't he?"

Hermione nodded. They kept silence for some time, both following their own thoughts. They were also aware, though, of the person close to them, their presence felt consoling.

"Mione?" Ginny padded her friend on the back to get her attention and the older woman sat up to look at her. "Come here, sit next to me." Hermione lifted herself up one step to sit next to Ginny.

"There's one thing I'm going to regret when you break up with my brother..."

"Who says I'm going to break up with him?" Ginny looked sternly at her friend, her dark eyes cutting through all the denials Hermione might come up with and looking right at the truth: that Hermione was unhappy with Ron, and that she wanted out.

"There's one thing I'm going to regret when you break up with Ron and that's that we won't see each other as often as we used to. You're going to resume your studies, and you're going to become this incredibly successful witch. You're probably going to teach at Hogwarts when you're done being fabulous and just want to step back a little. A regular Minverva McGonagall." Ginny smiled proudly at Hermione and cupped her cheek with a cold hand. A chill ran through Hermione for a second but was replaced by a wave of heat at the intimate gesture. She blushed but leaned her head into Ginny's touch.

"I'm not as fabulous as all that, certainly not as amazing as Minerva," she had come to know the head mistress of Hogwarts on a first name basis that last year when she was tutored by her. Minerva had so wanted Hermione to go on studying, she still did but she didn't pressure her favorite student. They had become friends and Minerva McGonagall respected the choices Hermione Granger had made in her life. It was Hermione who berated herself for not making more of it.

"Oh, but you are. You are..." Ginny shook her head, lost for words. She looked deeply into Hermione's eyes, feeling all of those things she had felt for the other girl from that first summer she had spent with them, this thing that at first looked like friendship and then she thought that it was more like a sisterly affection but it turned out even more than that. Yes, she had had these feelings for a long time, interrupted by her infatuations with the boys she had gone out with but they had never vanished and now they flared up, reared their curious little head... and Ginny leaned in and touched her lips to Hermione's. For a moment she thought, that was it, her friend wasn't going to react but then those lips captured hers and it was all passion and need and want, so raw it hurt. Lips that had turned chill from the outside cold, now turned hot as tongues joined the dance, colliding, melting, sucking softly. They kissed and they felt what both had been missing for a long time now. There was feeling left in them, not everything had been destroyed by Voldemort, there were still good things to be had - if they let themselves have them.

They parted when they ran out of air, their faces stayed close, their breaths mingling visibly in the cold December air.

"I have wanted to do that for so long," Ginny confessed. Her hand was still at Hermione's cheek, caressing it. Hermione's own hands had grabbed Ginny's coat to pull her closer, she was now feeling the roughened wool surface.

"I have never thought I'd do this," she whispered. "But I want to do it again." She smiled shyly, let the words linger, sink into her own consciousness and accept the truth of them.

Ginny was so much like Ron, which was probably the problem between them, but they were also very different. Where Ron was insensitive, Ginny picked up the moods of a person easily, she felt empathy, she was able to console. Where Ron was clumsy, Ginny was graceful. Where Ron fumbled, Ginny was obviously quite skilled and... Hermione blushed a little more. It was useless to compare Ginny to Ron, the girl had all the advantages - the woman, the beautiful, sexy, incredibly charming woman.

But, of course, this was all wrong. Not because she was a woman, Hermione had long ago consented that she found women attractive, not even because Hermione was with Ginny's brother - she wouldn't be for much longer. It was because these things just didn't happen.

"We can't have this, you know." She said to Ginny. The redhead lifted her head to better look at Hermione.

"Why not?" She asked. "Because of Ron? But he's..."

"Not because of Ron." Hermione took Ginny's hand and placed a kiss on its back. She held it between both her own as she continued. "Look at it as a book, a story about a hero and his two friends who were kind of destined to be together. Harry is the hero, of course, Ron and I his faithful sidekicks who cannot live peacefully together but cannot live without each other either. You." She stopped and smiled at the redhead. "You are the hero's girlfriend, the one who would always stick with him, the one he would marry. You are the beautiful love of the hero, the one he will seek to protect in his last battle against evil."

"Yeah, but look at life, Hermione. The hero turns into a tortured young man who cannot cope with his guilt and turns... kinda dark." Ginny's expressive eyes looked sadder than they had before, and this is what Hermione had been afraid of earlier, the confession that Harry had turned into something he had fought so valiantly against.

"Dark?" she repeated.

"Not... not like Voldemort, Mione. Not bad but sad and desperate. And look at you and Ron, you fight, you don't bicker anymore. You can live without each other but not with each other. War is not like in books, darling. It changes us and leaves us changed. I fell in love with a boy who had hope, I left a man who had lost everything including hope. You fell for a boy who... I don't even know why you fell for him, honestly..."

"Your brother can be sweet," Hermione insisted.

"Yeah, when he's not a total arse. Let's face it, the only thing that Ron ever accomplished in his life was being best friends with Harry Potter and now he doesn't think that's so great anymore." They looked at each other. Hermione knew that Ginny was at least in part right, they were all on the verge of falling apart. As lovers, as friends. And she didn't want to lose what they had had because for her it had been real. It wasn't about Harry being a hero, it was about Harry being a charming, naive boy with sparkling green eyes who loved magic and people who liked him. It wasn't about Ron being a hero's best friend, it was about Ron being adorable and a dork and sometimes insensitive but at the same time secretely in love with her. But they weren't these boys anymore. The war had changed them indeed and there was no way she was going to get them back. And it had changed her, as well. Her own enthusiasm for everything magic had dampened and she looked at the proceedings in the wizard/witch society critically. They had behaved like fools. But maybe this was the perfect moment to change things, maybe she could be someone who helped the wizarding community wise up and... change. She was still enthusiastic about something, and so was Ginny.

"This is life, Hermione. It's not books. Harry and I won't get married just because he saved the world for me. And you and Ron won't get married just because you think you're destined to be together, or that you cannot be without each other. That's bullcrap. If you want that to happen you better go back in time and kill baby Voldemort in his crib because otherwise... it all just happened the way it happened and we're not getting anything good out of it by pretending it hadn't. I want something good, Hermione." Ginny slid her hand out of Hermione's and put it back on her cheek, resuming the soft caress. "I want this, I want you." She kissed her again, not quite as passionately but with an intensity that assured Hermione Granger that there were feelings there, deep feelings, feelings they didn't have to talk about just yet. They were all for her.

They sat silently after the kiss ended. The ruckus inside the house had died down, only occasionally there was Ron's loud voice calling out to George - sometimes he called him Fred - to have another drink or some crisps or whatever. They could hear Charlie singing softly to himself, obviously in an alcohol-induced funk. No sound from Harry, he might have gone to bed after the girls disappeared to have their chat. He didn't feel comfortable in the Weasley house without either Ginny or Hermione around, not anymore.

Hermione thought about Ginny's words, let them sink in. Ron would flip, that was a given. She couldn't imagine how Harry would react; he seemed to take any kind of news like they didn't concern him these days. But what about Molly? And Arthur? The other Weasleys? Her own parents? Would they be shocked, would they be disappointed, would they be happy for her?

Ginny waited, let Hermione work through her words on her own. She knew they had already lost enough time on sentimentalities. Their old life wasn't coming back and she wanted something new, not somthing she imposed on herself because of dreams lost. Should someone else go out with Neville Longbottom, should someone else marry Ronald Weasley, should someone else suffer the indescribable melancholy that came with being Harry Potter's girlfriend. They weren't the heroes of her book, Hermione was. She was simply amazing: driven, passionate, hungry for life that was still out there. Should the boys all rot in their respective big city dwellings, she would return home every now and then to The Burrow, and she would bring her girlfriend, Hermione Granger.

Ginny smiled at the thought. Once again, she leaned into a kiss and Hermione received it with part passion, part deep, unuttered feelings.

When the kiss ended, Hermione hugged Ginny tightly. Then she got up from the cold stairs.

"Good night, Ginny. And happy Christmas." Ginny smiled and let Hermione go for now. They had some time yet, they would sort each other out. Hermione would leave Ron and they would be together. Because that would make for a really good story in her book.


End file.
